Twigsta

The Alter-Ego Doorway

I just watched a FANTASTIC episode of Criminal Minds, season 4 and titled ‘Conflicted’. The BAU team are investigating deaths of frat boys being lured to their deaths at a spring break hotel, where a manager and janitor have a unique bond. The episode sounds like another ‘orginal’ episode of Criminal Minds but you should DEFINITELY watch it.

The thing that caught my eye on was the ALTER-EGO. Adam Jackson (played by Jackson Rathbone) had a horrid (horrid being a nice word) childhood; his mother suffered spousal abuse and she died when he was young. He then lived with his step-father who de-flected the abuse he gave Adam’s mother onto Adam. He would dress Adam up in dresses, touch him inappropriately and would beat him.

To cope Adam formed an alter ego named Amanda. Amanda became the more dominant personality within Adam. She protected Adam by taking over in his child-hood when Adam would suffer the immense abuse from his step-father. Amanda was stronger than Adam.

When Adam was finally taken away from his step-father and taken into foster care; it was finally over. He was away from his step-father and could finally break free, get help and start afresh. When older, Adam found a friend in Julie Riley (played by Susan Ward) who helped out or volunteered at the foster home Adam was in. He then went onto work for Julie who became his boss and hotel manager at spring break resort hotel. She looked after him as if he was her own. However suddenly deaths occured. Alpha male frat boys were being killed- tied up, raped and suffocated. Adam happened to find the 2nd victim after being asked to clean the room; which was really the crime scene.

It turned out that Adam was the suspected couple that the BAU were looking for. Adam and … Amanda. Adam’s alter-ego caused him to dress up as a woman, lure the frat boys into hotel rooms, tied them up, gag their mouths, put a plastic bag over their head for suffocation and also rape them. What Adam suffered at the hands of his step-father which alter ego Amanda took over to cope with now became the act upon Adam in his older life. Amanda had all power whilst Adam did not know what was happening, he was still the young child within.

This fascinated me on multiple levels leading to one trail of thought… does what we go through (past/ present/ future) open a doorway to be opened to another personality?

Is an alter-ego personality really a personality of something else?

Is an alter-ego really another spirit?

Does an alter ego help us cope with things?

What is it???

Bringing into context religion, science, psychology, sociology, etc… What purpose does an alter ego serve and is life a doorway for alter-ego’s to be produced?

I found this very interesting. Amanda came because of what Adam went through but Adam was the ‘REAL’ person. Therefore who or what was Amanda?

This just fascinates me. Such an interesting topic I personally think?

At the end of the episode Adam/ Amanda is caught and she vows to protect Adam by completely taking over and Adam becomes no more. Dr Reid (played by Matthew Grey Gubler) keeps visiting Amanda, in a devoted attempt to find and bring back Adam. Dr Reid then quotes;

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win- Stephen King

But SPIRITS are also real…

Ok… hold up, let’s take a step back. Am I really saying that an alter-ego is a spirit? Well the answer is YES! However I would like to say that it is a spirit for the better or the worse.

Think about it, even as children we play pretend, play make believe and even have imaginary friends. Even as children we create/ form these characters that are not actually real. In most cases these characters disappear but in some cases they don’t. Let’s get into this. Let’s talk about the great film (in my eyes) Hide and Seek.

A father (played by Robert De Niro) goes to great lengths to help his daughter Emily (played by Dakota Fanning) by personally and professionally getting her the help she needs after witnessing her mothers dead body in a bath of blood due to her commiting suicide. He uproots and moves Emily to a new area, a new environment and everything as her progression was slow. Here we go… let’s get ready… Emily suddenly has an imaginary friend called Charlie. Her and Charlie are now the best of friends. However things become very strange. Cutting a lond story short, Charlie turns out to be her father… his ‘other side’, after he could not get over his wife cheating. Charlie formed, killed his wife and others, almost his own daughter.

Does this not sound similar to my point about Adam and Amanda??? Once again another person with an alter ego.

However comic superheros are also know for having alter egos; Superman and Clark Kent, Spiderman and Peter Parker, Bruce Banner and the Hulk; Bruce Wayne and Batman, etc… These superhero’s have alter-egos but they aren’t bad. They are actually good. But then on the other hand we have some of the greatest characters such as Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde; once again another alter-ego personality but a bad one in this case.

Not only has fiction constructed alter-egos but so has reality. Popstars including the talented Beyonce has Sasha Fierce, Nicky Minaj has many including Barbie and now Roman; even pop king Michael Jackson had Peter Pan.

What’s my point? What am I trying to say? Am I slating alter-ego and it’s research… NO. Am I saying people are possessed and crazy…. NO. I’m saying that an alter-ego is a spirit, spirit in the context of a personality looking for a body then making itself known. An alter-ego to me is a new nature. We call it a character, a trait, an action similar to ourselves or a hidden part of ourselves; regardless it is a nature. Something we aquire to do.

Biblical references come to mind.

James 1: 8- A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

Luke 17: 33- Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.

In both Criminal Minds and Hide and Seek, both parties lost their lives to their alter-egos. The alter egos formed were dominant and took over, rather than hellping them cope with the bad hand that life dealt then it resulted in them losing their lives. A new nature is a good thing, it was never meant to be bad.

An alter-ego serves as a good and a bad thing. Life throws crap (being a nice word) at us. People suffer in un-imaginable ways and their life becomes no more- Adam Jackson from Criminal Minds being a fictional example. I’m sure we all know someone in reality though???

Circumstances and situaions we go through, whether we know or do not know- good or bad; will open up doorways. There’s always a consequence for everything we do, whether the offender or the victim. But don’t let the wrong alter-ego in. We can have personlity’s (and thankfully we do) but we should still be the person we are rather than creating something we are not.

Masquerade. Paper faces on parade. Masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you.- The Phantom of the Opera

Don’t hide away too much…

The Self Expressed Soul

Lately I have been consumed in episodes of the hit show GLEE. I have been learning about bad reputations being revived, condemning actions destroying relationships, unfulfilled and false based thoughts/ perceptions and realities destroying the people that have them because of a constant need not being met, how someone can turn your dreams into fictionous realities whilst others around you can help revive them; as well as how lies can completely destroy and break people. I have learned much more than this but then I would be blogging all day.

The most touching and most significant was the episode where they were all going through their own personal issues and it was starting to reflect openly. Their assignment was to find a song to express themselves where they are at at that specific moment in time. Some of the songs included classics such as Jessies’s Girl and Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Glee

Glee

Music was used as an expression of human nature, conveying how they as a personal felt emotional, physically and possibly even spiritually; but the most important thing was that it got them to face their REAL SELVES. They had everything on show, naked and unashamed as they say. Not afraid to see the real them.

Life throws many things at us, fair and unfair, good and bad. What is an issue for one person may not be for someone else; but what makes a real difference is YOU. Your choice to change and turn the situation round for better and not worse, to be and make something of yourself.

When faced with situations ALWAYS remember to look at yourself. Regardless of what is thrown at you, only you can change you or even choose to change. Your life, your heart, your mind… your soul. Self expression is not a bad thing but a very good thing if your future changes for the better with it.

Walking With A Broken Heart

(Image courtesy of Sarah G)

When we look back into the history of the human race we can see a lifetime full of chaos and wars that have left us wounded. Every human till this very day walks with some sort of wound (whether we want to say so or not). But the problem is not when we are wounded, the problem is what we do after we’ve been wounded.

If a child falls over immediately a first instinct is to clean the wound, however how the wound is cleaned varies. Some may clean it with water, some may clean it with some form of antiseptic cream/wipe, and others may use salt, and so on. So how do we clean the wounds in our lives? Do we turn to men and women to fill these deep hurts? Do we turn to drugs or drinks thinking that they’ll help get rid of the deep hurts even if only for a moment? Do we get angry and take it out verbally/psychologically/physically on others as the hurt just overwhelms inside? What do you do?

Every time we get wounded, physically or spiritually, there’s an impact on our heart. When we get mad heart problems can arise, when we cheat on partners or get cheated on we suffer from broken hearts, when we have not got over the abuse (physical/sexual/mental, etc) from our past our hearts have been wounded and left us and our behaviours with effects. It goes on and on but the question is WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DEAL WITH MY WOUNDS? Or have I even dealt with my wounds or just pushed them under a mat?

It’s not easy to deal with a wound, whether it’s a scratch or a flesh wound. We maybe all human but we are still all different. We have our own individual ways of dealing with what we go through or have gone through in our lives. The problem only comes when we don’t deal with it.

My point is deal with your wounds before they deal with you, effects can be very damaging. Have wisdom in how you deal with the wounds, don’t just do what you want or feel. Just like what Professor Xavier says to Jean Grey in X-Men 3 that she should control her gifts before they control her.

Death To A Dream

(Image courtesy of BrianScott)                             

1Peter 5:8

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (New Living Translation)

Sometimes we can’t define or justify the things we do. We live, make mistakes and learn but the real issue comes after we make the mistakes. Do we make a mistake then learn from it which births a change in our responses or do we make a mistake, keep making the same mistake but ultimately give up?

In life, realistically we have two options, Do or Die (also a great song by TheBandWithNoName- you should check it out!)

Not only in mistakes do our choices lye but choices also lye in our dreams. Any man can dream a dream but it takes more than a dreamer to make a dream. We can talk the talk but when it comes to making our dreams reality, can we pursue, push and endure the necessary things it takes in order to make those dreams a reality.

The Bible speaks of Satan looking for someone to destroy. Whether we believe in God or not, whether we are Christians or not; we all have something in life that looks to bring harm, bring us down or even look to ultimately take over our lives with possible death destroying results. However when it comes to our dreams, what do we do? Do we defend them and continue to pursue them until they come to life or do we give up on them.

Personal experiences we go through shape and evolve us as human beings. We move from the transition of baby, to child, to teenager, to adult. Each stage faces great diffculties and extremely joyous, achievable moments; but when do we let these memories, experiences and situations in which people are involved DESTROY our dreams?

Hannibal: Hannibal Rising

The film ‘Hannibal Rising’ holds a very interesting idea that can be expressed in dreams and the death of dreams in the dreamer. In the scene where the Inspector is speaking to the woman who looks after Hannibal, he says (which I think you should find for yourself as I don’t want to give the film away) that a part of Hannibal died. In reality, this can be the same for us and our dreams. Does this sound familiar to you? Can you relate to this experience or emotion?

Summary

People, past and present situations, circumstances and experiences can all be used as a barrier and sword to the killing of our dreams. Pursuing a hearts desire is something people want to live but life holds it back and some give up. I guess what I’m trying to say is NEVER give up on your dreams. If something is meant to be, it’ll be but there’s more to life than wishing (within reason of course). You have the abilities to do what you want (morally speaking within wisdom) but now it’s in the mind where the dreamer now moves to dream-making.

We all feel to give up sometimes but it’s through the pushing and pursuing that the dreams become reality.

Loneliness

                                        (Image courtesy of ro_buk)

DO you ever just take a seat and think back about your life? All the things you did right, all the things you did wrong, all the things you wish you’d done and even the things you wish you could change. Life seems to go nowehere but in a repetitive cycle without a beginning or end.

Life seems to now take on a cynical form and everything seems to be heads down. Does this mean that we slowly sink into a lowly state of depression in which our mind no longer wants to communicate with the outside world? That every thought of socialising becomes numb to our very vessels and we sink deeper into a black hole whilst losing a sense of identity in who we are or once were?

What answer is there to give? Is there a right or wrong answer for these questions? Who are we to tell you who you are and what you are to do, the only thing we as a people can do is offer our help, advice and experiences to enable each of us to make the right decisions for us and our own lives.

Mind

As a Christian The Bible tells me to;

⁵Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (2 Corinthians 10:5 King James Version).

Everything that is not good for me and rises above what God says has to be brought down and into allignment with God and His Word. But what about those who don’t believe in God? What about those who don’t follow religion? What are they to do or do my beliefs now become a set of super-imposed morals upon those who don’t believe?

Casting down or telling something to bow down is not an easy thing to do in a society where freedom is much promoted. Freedom to speak (even if what is spoken doesn’t help at all), agree with things that really hold no ground, etc. How can we make someone do something, how can we tell our mind to do something and expect it to follow through within ourselves and our actions? 

(Image courtesey of kozumel)

Our mind is a core and essential part of our living. Everything we think affects us, affects who we are and what we can become. If I tell you you’re a master chef enough times, if you believe and receive what I say you will look to becoming it. If I tell you you’re dumb all the time, you’ll start acting and becoming what I call you if you have believed and received what I said about you.

This is of course my thoughts of where I am coming from in life but what are yours?

My Bible tells me that;

And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18 King James Version).

This tells me that God saw that Adam (man) was alone and not fully happy so he gave him a companion. Loneliness is not always good, having absolutely no one is not good. Even in the book ‘Of Mice and Men’ by author John Steinbeck (for those who have read it- if you haven’t I suggest you do). We see that the theme of loneliness also plays itself out.

Crooks:

“S’pose you didn’t have nobody. S’pose you couldn’t go into the bunk house and play rummy ‘cause you was black. How’d you like that? S’pose you had to sit out here an’ read books. Sure you could play horseshoes till it got dark, but then you got to read books. Books ain’t no good. A guy needs somebody-to be near him. A guy goes nuts if he ain’t got nobody. Don’t make no difference who the guy is, long’s he’s with you. I tell ya, I tell ya a guy gets too lonely an’ he gets sick” (80).

George:

“I ain’t got no people. I seen the guys that go around on the ranches alone. That ain’t no good. They don’t have no fun. After a long time they get mean. They get wantin’ to fight all the time… ‘Course Lennie’s a God damn nuisance most of the time, but you get used to goin’ around with a guy an’ you can’t get rid of him” (45).

(These quotes can be found at: Novel Guide)  

Summary

You can be lonely even if you are are with someone but the loneliness is something that needs to be dealt with regardless of whether you are single or not. Some turn to sex, some turn to drugs, some turn to drink and all sorts of things to get away from that “certain thing” we want to forget but in the end we have to think “Is my life not worth pursuing?”

Loneliness has it’s effects, some very damaging. This blog post is really just my thoughts on just a glimpse into loneliness at this moment in time. We can scientifically and psychologically break down every aspect of loneliness but that isn’t my job, it’s not what I do. I just want to get my say out there and see what others have to say. What is loneliness to YOU and how do you PURSUE or DEAL with it?

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My other blogs: Staycee1’s Blog and Twigsta’s Thoughts. 

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